The elephant in the room
I have always been a big fan of new years. I can’t help but find the promise of a “new beginning” extremely enticing - I love reflecting upon the past 365 days, drafting resolutions, looking forward to a brand new calendar filled with wishes and above all hope. I like having an excuse to clean up clutter - physical, mental and emotional. And I particularly love following as many crazy Brazilian traditions as possible (i.e. wearing white and brand new underwear, eating 12 grapes at midnight, lentils, pomegranate, etc.), all in an effort to evoke some sort of cosmic help to bring forth the best possible year yet. As it’s often said after Cervantes, “yo no creo en brujas, pero que las hay, las hay” (or something like “I don’t believe in witches, but they do exist”). When in doubt, I have always done my best and felt utterly eager to start a new year, a fresh beginning, on the right foot.
This year, however, has felt somewhat different. With our baby daughter’s imminent birth always on my mind, I’ve been feeling quite uneasy. Not only because birth and the postpartum period are by nature highly unpredictable, but also because, this year, we must all address the elephant in the room - the one with the neon sign exclaiming that these are very uncertain times, especially for those of us raising little kids. I guess most of us can agree that last year wasn’t exactly a period of smooth sailing. Most “2018 retrospective” articles I read tried and failed to steer the focus from what a hot mess last year was for politics, for the environment, for women’s rights, for our basic sense of stability. Reading the news last year often felt like having the metaphorical rug being pulled from under our feet, day after day, until all we could do was lie on the floor and cease to be shocked by the grueling reality we’re currently living in.
Believe me, I am not a pessimist. I’m a realist most times, and otherwise an open-hearted optimist. I am after all expecting our second little one, so I must believe there is good left in the world. But I must also acknowledge that things are a bit scary right now. The back of my head is constantly coming up with emergency exit plans for my family if, you know, history repeats itself as it tends to do. Yann-Yves and I decided to stay in Munich (a place we’ve come to love so much) until at least 2021, i.e. while Merkel - and the EU - are still around. Everyone nervously laughs when we explain our reasoning, us included. The EU, and with it our right to live in Germany, is something we’d always taken for granted until Brexit kind of happened, and with it the galloping rise of nationalism worldwide. Just like abortion rights were a given in most of the US, or the Paris Agreement reflected just global common sense. If there’s one thing that this moment in time for humanity has taught me it’s that nothing we hold dear, and none of our rights, should be taken for granted - and that we must be ready to fight to keep them.
2019 is the year an ultra-right wing candidate I overtly and completely despise became the president of my country. It’s a year that began with a partial government shutdown in the US. It’s a year in which the gillet jaunes will certainly continue to wreck the French economy and Macron’s credibility (again, nurturing the perfect conditions for nationalism to continue to set and grow its ugly roots). You may think that none of this affects you, so why bother, but it mostly definitely does; so I guess it’s understandable why my enthusiasm for a “fresh new beginning” has been somewhat toned down this time around. But this is also the year we become a family of 4, the year I dive deeper into creating a career out of purpose, the year I turn 30. And that is, at last, what I choose to selfishly focus on.
As we all start setting into this new year, may we keep the hopes, the wishes, and the resolutions we set for ourselves on the 31st. But may we also acknowledge the reality of the massive elephant in the room - for it is there, and it shouldn’t be ignored if we are to stand a fighting chance.
