And bump makes us four
A few days before going home to Rio for a month back in June, I wasn't being myself. I was extremely emotional, stressed out, and just overall "off". Maybe it was the early summer heat, or the stress of an upcoming long-haul flight by myself with my then 10 month-old. Or maybe it wasn't. I decided to take a pregnancy test, and the very faint plus sign confirmed my by now educated suspicion - I am pregnant again!
An emotional rollercoaster succeeded the initial shock, which is why it has been so quiet around here lately. As we slowly started sharing the news with close friends and family, we've learned to develop a thicker skin after repeatedly hearing a number of variations on the theme of "oh you're brave" and "was it an accident*?". These were often accompanied by substantially less enthusiastic "congratulations" than the first time around.
*I know that no harm was meant with the question, but no - it wasn't an "accident". An "accident" is, to me, something that I would generally like to avoid. A second child, on the contrary, is a wish YY and I have always shared and will luckily welcome with open hearts and arms.
The truth is, the world in which we live is a confusing, often nasty, but also weirdly wonderful and humbling place - and that combination won't likely change. We can't decide if we're highly optimistic, brave, selfish or simply crazy for desiring badly to expand our little family, but one thing we do know is that now is as good a time as ever to do it.
Our babies will be 19 months apart and in February 2019 we will find ourselves responsible for "two under two", as they say. I would be lying if I said that the prospective of caring for two tiny beings at once doesn't scare me. I also think that my enthusiasm has been substantially curbed in the past two months by the ongoing nausea, migraine, extremely low blood pressure and, the one symptom that got to me the most, constipation. Add that mix to the European summer heatwave, and you get a pregnant lady and mama who could barely open her eyes or get out of bed, let alone find the motivation to stir up her creative juices and write with an ideal frequency.
With the beginning of the second trimester I'm now feeling some much deserved relief, so here I am. I am also back at work, and discovering the joy and challenge of being the working mother of a one year-old while nurturing a second precious being in my womb. This would be the subject for a whole other post, though.
For now, we shall enjoy our time as a family of three while preparing physically and emotionally to welcome our member number 4, and we will gladly take in enthusiastic congratulations in the meantime. If my second pregnancy had indeed been an accident, it would've been the happiest, albeit also the most challenging, of them all.
